Thank you so much for sharing your story. As a survivor of boundary violations and spiritual abuse myself, there were things that stuck out to me as common themes. Being newer to the regular practice of the faith or a "baby Catholic", fishing for emotional intimacy, interactions being different in private vs. in public, and delays in sharing with your therapist. As Dan discussed in the podcast, priests are very aware of what boundaries they are responsible for keeping and what conduct policies they must follow. It takes a special kind of disregard for the human dignity of others (some would call it a special kind of evil), to push the line in every way you know you can to get everything you think you can without crossing a line that will get you formally punished. To put it more plainly, this type of priest wants a relationship with a woman. They create one and go as far as they think that can get.....delighting in their ability to become an area of importance in someone's life especially if they can overtake a spouse or romantic partner. Olivia you are absolutely right when you said something about what in the world it is that we are doing wrong. By listening, following the advice or the boundary cues of a person who is responsible for steering the ship? With what would we compare it with? Why would we expect to be led anywhere except where we should be by a person we're told to trust? Such a monstrous and profound betrayal.
Thank you, Olivia, for sharing your story. I’m so sorry for what you experienced. Thank you, Dan, for giving Olivia (and any abuse victims) an outlet for her voice to be heard, like one crying out in the wilderness.
Thank you for your work. My husband and I have a podcast that discusses these issues. Can you email me at yardleykc@gmail.com, and we can connect. We would love to discuss your work and bring a greater understanding to the problem of boundary violations. Best, Kris Ciaccia
Thank you so much for sharing your story. As a survivor of boundary violations and spiritual abuse myself, there were things that stuck out to me as common themes. Being newer to the regular practice of the faith or a "baby Catholic", fishing for emotional intimacy, interactions being different in private vs. in public, and delays in sharing with your therapist. As Dan discussed in the podcast, priests are very aware of what boundaries they are responsible for keeping and what conduct policies they must follow. It takes a special kind of disregard for the human dignity of others (some would call it a special kind of evil), to push the line in every way you know you can to get everything you think you can without crossing a line that will get you formally punished. To put it more plainly, this type of priest wants a relationship with a woman. They create one and go as far as they think that can get.....delighting in their ability to become an area of importance in someone's life especially if they can overtake a spouse or romantic partner. Olivia you are absolutely right when you said something about what in the world it is that we are doing wrong. By listening, following the advice or the boundary cues of a person who is responsible for steering the ship? With what would we compare it with? Why would we expect to be led anywhere except where we should be by a person we're told to trust? Such a monstrous and profound betrayal.
Thank you for being willing to listen. I am sorry that you relate to so much of this.
Thank you, Olivia, for refusing to be silenced. The truth is like a lion; set it free, it will defend itself. ~St Augustine
Much gratitude to Dan for shining a light on this.
Thank you, Olivia, for sharing your story. I’m so sorry for what you experienced. Thank you, Dan, for giving Olivia (and any abuse victims) an outlet for her voice to be heard, like one crying out in the wilderness.
Thank you for listening. I appreciate it very much.
Dan,
Thank you for your work. My husband and I have a podcast that discusses these issues. Can you email me at yardleykc@gmail.com, and we can connect. We would love to discuss your work and bring a greater understanding to the problem of boundary violations. Best, Kris Ciaccia